Where I Began

You can call me, Monique. It’s the name I’ve always been called. It means advisor. Who knew that would be my calling? Not I.

From my very beginning, I’ve always been able to observe myself as meditation teachers instruct their students to do in meditation class. “Observe yourself. Observe your mind.” From a very young age, I was able to do this. If you’re here at the (r)evolution of bliss, you might know this quality too within yourself.

When I was a child, I would notice what others did, I would have this feeling that I should be doing it too, and then I would willingly take on those behaviors – literally practice myself into doing the things I was witnessing. As I did that, I was very much aware of what I was doing to add the ways of others to my own. It was if I knew I was this blank slate and I was adding to my blank canvas.

With my aunt, it was the twirling of her hair. My hair twirl became a nervous habit. With my mom, it was her signature. I copied the long lines and broad, sloping loops of her cursive letters. Mine was never the same, but I loved making myself like her. With my Black female friends, it was the way they talked in slang I didn’t know and bonded over the melody of their words – as if they were actually singing instead of talking. I learned how. After much practice and failure, and even some clapback from females who were not my friends and who thought I was faking it at best (I was), I learned my rhythm and my pace. There were many others, some ways of doing, and some ways of being, but all were observations that I then consciously practiced or copied. It is because of this observer quality of myself that I became a great life coach.

There was an adult in my childhood who taught me not to trust my own mind, and that communication was a threat to my safety in the world. It is these lessons and my observer quality that are responsible in totality for my own personal development. All of the things I learned that were completely counter to who I was as a child – free and able to see myself as important in the world just as I was – shaped my ability (or inhibited ability) to be self-possessed as a young woman. As I failed miserably to be someone who could stand for herself and what she believed in, I realized that I had lost something of myself in the translation to who I thought I might become.

Coming back to myself, the free-spirited child (and creating myself anew in the same breath), was a winding road. I became a Coach, and then a Seminar Leader at a globally known personal development company, Landmark Worldwide. There, I worked with thousands of individuals to allow each person greater access to who they were authentically. Always, in my work, I realized when I showed someone their own mirror, it reflected back to both of us. I became a Life Coach, not to show anyone a formula, but to release each person from the ideas of themselves that inhibited their full possession of the Self they were at their core.

In my teenage years, the domination of adults made me a fighter, and I began to fight for my place in this world – a place I had been so sure as a child belonged to me rightly. I could feel the dissonance of this decision; I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I had reached this place under great duress and in great distress. My weapon of choice became my wit, and anxiety and depression were the result.

All my life I have been attracted to principles of transcendence. As a child of the 70’s, I was drawn to the transcendence of New Age but not to the denial of many who participated. In my early 20’s, I studied Tai Chi and was drawn to Chinese healing arts and the Tao Te Ching. My life constantly brought me opportunities of insight to what it would be to transcend my own suffering and the suffering of those around me.

So when I reached the limits of what I had discovered as a Seminar Leader of personal growth and development, and as a Life Coach, I realized that I could not reach the heights I sought via my mind alone. I had to connect mind, body and spirit for full transcendence.

I began the work that led me to create this website, the (r)evolution of bliss. I am here to guide, not to be a guru. I have deciphered that everyone’s journey is their own, and to honor that is to honor the gifts each individual has for the world.

I have mastered my mind. Being an observer has been the greatest cultivator of that mastery. I understand my mind as a tool, pliable and malleable, and not as a reality, rigid and singularly defined. And just like mastery is not a state to be reached like a destination, but an opportunity for greater and greater understanding, so too is my peace.

It’s not as though you reach peace and then there you are. All complete. You reach peace and then once you have, you realize there are greater and greater levels of it. You recognize that you will continue to reach for peace and now with confidence in your mastery, you will find it. Your confidence grows exponentially in that which you cannot fully grasp – the unknowable world around you, and you begin to know that all is well always. (Always means even in times of uncertainty.)

Life becomes your greatest canvas and from there, there is only to begin to set down colors / pigments / variations / thoughts / ideas / experiences of what ever variety you choose.

I have a life-painting palette that grows wild and I am surprised constantly by its diversity. It is ever-growing and ever-widening and ever-surprising. It is my hope. It is my joy. It is my life.

This is me, Monique McIntyre, a fierce purveyor of bliss.

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