For this practice, you can start small to see how you fare to begin. Just know that this practice can and will work for any situation of any scope in which you are experiencing distress, discomfort, or just plain feeling bad. All you have to do is remember to practice in that moment.
The other thing I want you to know is that belief is not requisite. You don’t have to believe anything for this practice to work. So begin small, or begin big. As always, it’s your choice.
(there’s a downloadable PDF in your future)
in a moment…
In the moment you feel bad, you can begin to bring this practice to what you’re feeling, or to whatever you’re thinking.
Say, “it’s okay” to yourself and mean it as you begin to reflect on how okay it is that you are wherever you are, mentally, emotionally or physically…
… that it is okay that you are however you are in this moment…
… that you are a human being and that this is what it looks like to be a human being…
… or that you are a human being having a human experience and this experience – your experience – is what it is in this present moment.
If you have practiced compassion with yourself before, you may have ease with this practice. However, you do not have to believe that it’s okay to know that it can be okay for you. It’s called, assuming the position.
you need no preparation…
There is no preparation necessary. This is not a practice that you must meditate or center yourself beforehand in order to have the practice be effective.
to be effective, you only need to…
Be straight with yourself. Or being willing to be straight with yourself.
That’s right. To be effective with this practice, the only thing you need to be is honest with yourself. Your “Self” will know if you’re not being honest. There will be no outcome of relief if you’re not being honest, or you’re withholding from yourself.
So if you have to assume the position because you don’t believe what you’re saying, then assume that position! Do it for yourself. Do it for your well-being.
Know that it works, and it will work for you. That’s all you need.
body sensations & feelings are important…
It’s important that you become clued into how you feel for work that transforms well-being. Being able to feel your feelings is important to this practice and others that involve wellness and self-care.
If you have learned to numb your feelings, curiosity is now required. If you have made a point of not caring about your feelings, attention must now be paid. If you have downplayed your emotions, now you must take stock and give value where no value has been placed previously.
On the other hand… If you dig your feelings, then you can continue your work of acknowledgment and acceptance.
you will feel an immediate effect…
When you say, “it’s okay” to yourself and mean it, you will feel an immediate settling within you. Now, when I say “immediate,” you want to resolve yourself not to focus on outcomes. Measuring how much you’re feeling it or not feeling it is a sure way to defeat the purpose. The settling within you will begin immediately, but it may be a wave that you feel only hints of at first.
The settling may be instantaneous. You may feel an incredible feeling of ease wash over you. There is no formula for how long it will take, or how it will ebb and flow within you. No two will be alike either, so no comparing yourself to others. Be assured, there will be something you can feel if you say, “it’s okay” to yourself and mean the words as you say them.
if you feel resistance…
Then say, “it’s okay that it’s not okay” to yourself. You have to feel your way through. Only you will know how your words are affecting the sensations you feel in your body.
You may have resistance because somewhere within your brain (or in your colon) are neurons and synapses that are playing out a resistant pattern. This is okay that this is happening. Once again, you are not a robot. We are not programming a computer. You are a human being who has thoughts, feelings and experiences that make up your life – this is so for every human being.
Everyone has something different that has happened in their experience, so if you can allow for what will come up then you can be fluid and malleable as you respond to your emotions. You can call it compassion.
Saying, “it’s okay that it’s not okay” to yourself can help your nervous system feel ease when the resistance within you is stubborn. But again, make sure you allow for your own discovery as you feel your way through.
There is no right way. There’s just to feel your way through from the bad feelings to something new – whether that be good feelings, or neutrality or simple relief. Relief is good. Relief means you’re rising up the emotional scale. Relief is progress. Good progress.
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