real bliss 868

We already know that fairy tales inform our romantic expectations of fantasy and grand gestures, but what else are they creating in our romantic realities?

It’s hard to save others, and then actually allow yourself to be saved too. You may want to be saved – to be rescued by someone you can lean into – but having both is damn near impossible. The two desires are contrary to one another. The contrast cancels the other out. Yet, women do it every day. We, as women, receive all kinds of messages that are completely contradictory every day of our lives and somehow, we make it all work.

But don’t think the contradictions of life aren’t equally targeted to men. All of us as children, young adults and even the adults we are right now are presented with contradictory messages every day of our lives. These messages come from society, family, caregivers, friends, colleagues, books, art and other media, our favorite songs, the internet and social media, and much more. These contradictions are imprinted in our nervous systems. It’s what deeply contributes to the complexity of our humanity – the way that we are. And…

We are not one thing or another. We are everything at once. And this is what also makes for all of our mystery to others and to ourselves. However, isn’t it the mystery to ourselves that is the most unsettling?

Try, for instance, having a relationship with the person you really want to invite into your life. You see them. You meet them. Sparks fly. It’s good for a while. (For some, it’s good for a lifetime. But we’re not talkin’ about those folks right now…) For most of us, if we aren’t willing to dive deeply, or do some soul searching or life-altering work, that lifetime won’t find us. For some of us, we are constantly having to ease into what looks like – and definitely feels like – a possibility-filled relationship that ends up being just another version of the one that didn’t work out the last time, or that time two or three times ago. We’re exhausted, and we want something wholly different.

I don’t mean to sound hopeless here… because there’s always hope. Read one of the most recent real bliss posts…

But where are we at in our lives right now? We want something different. To get to something different, however, we’ve got to go long. We’ve got to put in some effort. Not “work.” Just effort. We’ve got to take steps. Otherwise, the life we’re left with is one that appears before us by default.

Wouldn’t you love to be the purposeful architect and creator in this area of your life? Wouldn’t you like to be wholly intentional with your one masterpiece?

This is what we’re gonna get into today. Are ya’ comin’?

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