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Is FOMO F*king Up Your Life?
FOMO – fear of missing out… on what? Life? Child, please. #therevolutionofbliss
You Are… Breathe… Okay
Are you having a day? Do you need this reminder? Come get it. It's for …
False Positives In Self-Care Can Suck
False positives are more a part of our consciousness than they ever have been. What …
Easy Like Sunday Morning
Lionel Richie's song, yes, I am. It's got something to it, and I'm extolling its …
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fairy tales creating our romantic realities? could be.

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We already know that fairy tales inform our romantic expectations of fantasy and grand gestures, but what else are they creating in our romantic realities?

It’s hard to save others, and then actually allow yourself to be saved too. You may want to be saved – to be rescued by someone you can lean into – but having both is damn near impossible. The two desires are contrary to one another. The contrast cancels the other out. Yet, women do it every day. We, as women, receive all kinds of messages that are completely contradictory every day of our lives and somehow, we make it all work.

But don’t think the contradictions of life aren’t equally targeted to men. All of us as children, young adults and even the adults we are right now are presented with contradictory messages every day of our lives. These messages come from society, family, caregivers, friends, colleagues, books, art and other media, our favorite songs, the internet and social media, and much more. These contradictions are imprinted in our nervous systems. It’s what deeply contributes to the complexity of our humanity – the way that we are. And…

We are not one thing or another. We are everything at once. And this is what also makes for all of our mystery to others and to ourselves. However, isn’t it the mystery to ourselves that is the most unsettling?

Try, for instance, having a relationship with the person you really want to invite into your life. You see them. You meet them. Sparks fly. It’s good for a while. (For some, it’s good for a lifetime. But we’re not talkin’ about those folks right now…) For most of us, if we aren’t willing to dive deeply, or do some soul searching or life-altering work, that lifetime won’t find us. For some of us, we are constantly having to ease into what looks like – and definitely feels like – a possibility-filled relationship that ends up being just another version of the one that didn’t work out the last time, or that time two or three times ago. We’re exhausted, and we want something wholly different.

I don’t mean to sound hopeless here… because there’s always hope. Read one of the most recent real bliss posts…

But where are we at in our lives right now? We want something different. To get to something different, however, we’ve got to go long. We’ve got to put in some effort. Not “work.” Just effort. We’ve got to take steps. Otherwise, the life we’re left with is one that appears before us by default.

Wouldn’t you love to be the purposeful architect and creator in this area of your life? Wouldn’t you like to be wholly intentional with your one masterpiece?

This is what we’re gonna get into today. Are ya’ comin’?

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love notes from monique #2

I wanted to create a softer side to Real Bliss because we all need a little tenderness.

Don’t forget when you hear things repeated all your life, they get imprinted on your nervous system. They remain there in perpetual play until you notice the imprint.
Healing is a matter of noticing the imprint. The minute you notice it, it can no longer continue to run in the same pattern it always has.
Patterns, or imprints, run unnoticed uninterrupted – you can call this your unconscious. So the minute you notice a pattern, it breaks up. Noticing it brings it forward in your consciousness, which interrupts the pattern forever. Now interrupted, it is no longer a pattern and no longer running you unconsciously.
If you interrupt enough patterns, you can heal wounds. A wound can simply be a pattern. Interruption is mostly what healing is made of.

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Depression? Here’s How I Healed Mine

It took me several years to get diagnosed. These are my suggestions for a healthy emotional recovery.


Oh, man, have I wanted to write this one for a long time. And I also want to do videos soon, but I’m still feeling anxious about how to speak on camera about what I’ve been through. So bear with me.

Obviously, this is not everything. You’d get exhausted from reading my whole story, but this is a beginning. For some of you, it will be a great start; while for others, it will be everything you need.


I don’t even know when my depression began. I just know when it began to take me out of my life. I know exactly when I started to wonder if I’d ever be able to show up for life again. And I know when I began to wonder if life would show up for me again.

Emotional pain is just a momentum of negative thoughts and emotions accumulated, through suppression, in your body. Resistance creates more resistance. Everything being energy, pain is no different.

Monique mcintyre

My pain began to dwarf my ability to be in the world when I lost my 2nd car. I had this beautiful blue Beetle with an ivory ragtop. It was my first convertible and I was in love. I had been working a fun job that I manifested by defining some exact details I wanted in a job when I needed one desperately, and I was able to get back on my feet after a huge upset financially, emotionally, psychologically and romantically.

I left that job after a year in – it was not my passion – to take the next steps in my artistic career that I felt was taking off. And because I had been so successful in creating that job, I was feeling confident in my ability to create my life anew. However, I was also extremely uncertain of myself, of life and of what was before me. I was still reeling – at some level – from the losses I had endured a few years earlier. So for all of my confidence, my uncertainty continued to rule the day. And I kept trying to band-aid / bridge the chasm by focusing all my attention on my work. Then, to give myself purpose – as if that was the missing link – I decided to take up a new mission to make the world better. With this new “thing to do” on my list, I began to focus all my attention there as well. So there goes all my attention with none saved for myself, or for what really mattered to me. Frankly, I’m not even sure I knew, or even had a hint of, what really mattered to me. And in the end? None of that was healing… so none of it was going to get me what I really wanted.

And what I really wanted was certainty. Or clarity. Clarity and certainty.

Not certainty about what life would bring me or provide. No one can know those things. Besides, I’m an adventurous soul, so that’s never been my desire. My interest had more to do with a certainty about what I wanted from life. That certainty would still continue to elude me for several years because my drug of choice was focusing on making things work while never taking a look for the root cause of the disturbance. Extremely heavy lifting.

person holding black barbell
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

I gave my favorite blue convertible Beetle back to the bank a couple of years later, after my career stalled and I had to take a job I absolutely hated but tried desperately to love because it fulfilled my mission of making the world better. I was wrong. The world didn’t need me. I needed me.


The pain of Depression is a lot to bear, and we all handle it differently. Mine is not to tell you how to know for certain that this is where you find yourself right now or even that it is, without doubt, what you are dealing with. (And if you’re reading this, then you’re at least considering you’re dealing with something.) The journey to knowing if you’re in Depression, or to diagnosis, is wholly up to you. And I’m leaving it to you, because as with anything, you are the expert on you. However, I will say this. The way they show the people in those commercials on t.v. is not the way I experienced Depression at all. Emotionally, you don’t have to be down every moment of every day. You can actually be up and still be neck-deep in this emotional illness.

My offerings to you are less about diagnosis and more about recovery and healing. I’m offering my experience to you so that you can take for yourself what will work best for you. Please take what you need, and as always, leave what does not resonate with you on this page. Trust yourself. You’ll know what’s best for you. And please also make sure you always consult with your healthcare provider. I am not a healthcare provider, nor do I claim that honor. So please make sure to consult with experts about your care if you need additional help. Get what you need. Always get what you need.

Okay, here’s my how…

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Bliss Does Not Discount Pain

lori deschene_tiny buddha
Lori Deschene, Tiny Buddha

I found this wonderful little website today. It said it has 3 million viewers, so I don’t know how small it is. This website whose tagline is “simple wisdom for complex lives” is a fount of authenticity. Its URL? TinyBuddha.com.

Its founder, Lori Deschene, is someone who has truly allowed her life – with all of its ups, downs and ends of rope – to be a beacon for others.  You only have to read her marketing page for her book, a guide to loving yourself, to get this woman has gone through some things. And with deft grace, she exposes her tender underbelly in sweet homage to honor all of those who may come along and take solace in that they are not alone. She, like them, has been to the brink and back.

Reading her story reminded me that there may be folks out there that think that this (r)evolution of bliss is not for them, that they have too much hurt and pain to have bliss in their life. Even Lori had a quote posted on the site, from her own mouth indeed, that said, “We can’t just choose to be happy…” It nearly broke my heart. I don’t say this because I think I’m better than her. I’ve been to my own brink – survived more than I thought I could. And I know, for certain, that we can choose to be happy. It’s not some simple flip of a switch, but it can be easier than we think, and this is its beauty.

So I bring it back to this… all of us are finding our way in our own time and by the direction of our own choosing. Lori is doing the work she is choosing to do. And you and I get to choose what work we want to do in our lives.

Bliss is available to us all. I’m stating it for the record. You can just choose to be happy.

It is that easy.

We don’t all know how. That may be the most challenging part. But it is not necessarily a difficult task. It requires effort, discipline, willingness and vulnerability. And ease? Ease is the biggest part of it all.

Unlike what society and the outside world would have you believe, there are no “should’s” in this life. There is no status we must reach. There is no place in our evolution we must come to. There are no mantras we must find. There is no secret we must discover. There is no prophet we must journey to learn from. There is only to go within and discover what is within us all. There is only to begin to practice experiencing what we’ve experienced at one time or another in our lives, and as we practice with consistency, come to know we have access in every moment to who we are.

We are bliss. It is our nature. It is who we are. Truly.

I’m not here to convince you though.

You don’t need convincing. I’m certainly not here to make you do something, or to put something “on” you. I’m not here to tell you anything. You don’t need me for that. You. know. already.

You’ve come here, haven’t you? To this website. That’s enough. It is enough.

Bliss does not discount pain. Pain and bliss are both colors on the palette of the artistry of our humanity. Paint with it, or not. It’s always your choice. Just don’t decide that it’s impossible before you’ve actually tried it on.

Well, actually, that’s your choice too. I’m just sayin’.

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