Stress is an everyday occurrence in all of our lives. Even the most minor stress – making a restaurant choice on a jam-packed busy day, whether to take the highway or the side roads to your mother’s house – can accumulate and add to our daily discomfort. We all live with stress, but does it have to be where we set our default?
Yes, it’s about to get heavy… disease, disorder and dysfunction in our bodies begins with some kind of stress on our internal organs and systems. Regretfully, that stress begins with our choice to live with stress like a way of life in our everyday. Some of us live with stress like “if we can’t beat ’em, join ’em,” but since you’re reading this article I’m guessing you’re considering choosing differently. So please read on. Maybe you can apply some of these ways of being easy in your life.
Easy is confident
I remember in an interview for a job position once upon a time ago I was asked what 3 things did I think made a top person in that field a top person. The first thing I said was “being easy-going.”
Not the usual thing folks think of to impress an employer in a job interview. If you think about it though, it goes to follow. When a person is easy with themselves, they are confident. And it works the other way too! Confidence is easy to lead, and to be led by. Confidence is easy to be around. Confidence is easy to admire and promote. And the true test of easy? To be easy-going even when they have no confidence in that area… and in the end, this comes off as confidence!
When someone has nothing to prove to others, when they take competition in stride, and when they don’t feel pressure to be someone they’re not, they are easy about life, and in turn, they are confident. You could even say when someone is easy with who they are, they appear to be comfortable in their own skin. That’s because they are. Easy is the new confidence.
Easy is healthy
Tension is the opposite of easy, and tension always goes hand and hand with stress. When we are tensing up our bodies – out of worry, fear, anxiety, frustration, concern, trying to make it, “making it happen,” grinding it out, or any other number of emotions or attitudes we feel or act upon that bring about tension – then we are not easy. Bringing ease back to our bodies, also known as relief, health and well-being, (I’m about to get real real here, brace yourself) allows our stomachs to uncoil, allows our bowls to relax from constriction, allows our intestines to unblock, allows our hearts to ease up and pump freely.
Massage is a great tool to relax your muscles and tissues throughout your body, but what about your internal organs? We need something deeper for those to loosen. Yoga practice or meditation practice can help with the inner workings of both mind and body.
Easy is fun
Who of you has forgotten how to laugh? I don’t mean a titter (haven’t used that word in… ever). I mean a raucous belly laugh. Have you ever experienced a raw belly laugh that really catches you in your gut and maybe even cramps you up because you can’t stop laughing so hard? Good for you, if you have. If you haven’t, or if you can’t remember the last time you did, then you need some fun.
When you’re having fun, and fully giving yourself to the moment – that present moment that we speak about so often – then you are being easy. And fun can be had in many forms. Play is an incredible way to be easy and fun in a moment where laughter would be inappropriate but levity just right. Bringing play to a conversation is a way of lightening up a moment that might otherwise be heavy, laden with thought, and overwhelming. Play can uplift and lighten the mood in a moment where it is much needed. Finding ways to inject play somewhere into your week, your day or an hour will revive you in ways that will be new in each present moment. Take a chance.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
It’s not just a saying. It’s an actuality. Fun heightens your senses. Play gives you new life, new energy, allowing you to bring enjoyment and wonder to your everyday routine. Fun also brings insight and curiosity which allow for new perspective. And remember, the opposite of dull is sharp.
Easy is smart
Working smarter, not harder is something we could all use a lot more of. As human beings, our history is one indicative of that any time that was well spent was time toiling hard. I know there are a lot of us that now disagree with this premise and yet we still speak of “hard work” as if it is the only thing that leads to success. Toiling hard can use up your time, use up your life and use you up, leaving you with thoughts of “where did my time go?” or “where did my life go?”
When you’re working, find the most efficient use of your time to do the work that is necessary. If there’s an easier way to do something that is a smarter use of your time, consider doing it. And consider that each time you choose not to use your time more wisely and find the easy in your work, you are abusing your time, your effort and your sense of accomplishment. Be kind to yourself. Be easy.
(We are going there… yes, there.) And consider, I mean really consider, that workaholism is an addiction and not a look to be admired. Addiction can be eased in many ways. If you find you need a way to ease your addiction, a purely personal choice, then look for outlets where other addicts are reforming their lives and recovering from their addiction.
Easy is gratifying
Satisfaction can fulfill our sense of accomplishment. When we feel satisfied or gratified, we can feel complete. We no longer have to focus on that task, that life event, that person we were helping or working with, because our gratification signifies that we’ve come full circle. Our disappointment, dissatisfaction, or dismay with life often come because we are feeling as if we have to be in control of all around us.
This is not to say that you will not have disappointment in life, or that we will always feel gratified in life. And what if our disappointment is not disappointment at all, but a measure of where we think we should be instead of an acceptance of where we are. What if we begin to question our disappointment – to see what its root cause may be – and discovered that being easier with a situation, another person, or a major life event could save us grief? Questioning our negative evaluations of our lives or events in our lives can bring ease and relief back to us and assuage our grievous complaints about that which we cannot control.
Easy is loving
Ah, now we get to the good stuff. Sex! Well, I jest, but it can be that. We all know sex and love are not synonymous,You may be able to use sex instead of massage to relax. Your choice truly. I’ll leave that to you.
But getting back to the point, ah, the point… Easy is loving because ease allows for everyone to be themselves. If you’re being easy, you’re allowing yourself to be the “you” you truly are. (I hope you’re following, because I’m getting dizzy.) The “you” you truly are has changed often over the years – the you who was pulled from your mama is different from the you that passed the drivers test is different from the you who told your boss off. But that “you,” in all those moments, is the you you truly are. Allowing yourself to be you and allowing others to be them is the greatest gift that one can give – and it’s all about ease.
Ease is loving. Ease allows for life to be just how it is in every moment, and not have to change it to suit you or anyone else. Ease allows you to be yourself. Ease allows you to see others for who they are without having to change them. Letting up on the need to control outcomes and pictures we have in our minds allows for ease, and that allows for love (also known as acceptance).
Easy is good for the soul
Last, but by no means least, we come to the soul. The spirit. The higher power. The place within you that is the very core of who you are. Ease is always good to create space to connect with the very essence of you.
Connection means vibrance. Vibrance means thriving. Thriving means life. Abundant life. Ease is all of these and more. Ease is allowing your breath – your most immediate connection to your soul. Ease allows for meditation, in whatever form you find most relevant to your life. Ease allows for middle ground, when you’ve lost sight of it. Ease allows for connection to the soul of others, where the deepest connections are made.
Look, I’m not saying a lot that you haven’t thought of before. This article may have even seemed pedantic at some points. The opportunity here is to uncover a new perspective – maybe something you haven’t thought about before. Are you easy in your everyday? Or are there signs that you have far more tension in your body than you realize?
How do you find your ease in the everyday? Do you stumble upon it? Or do you make a concerted effort to create ease in a stressful day, at the end of a chaotic week, or in a moment of devastation?
How will you bring ease to yourself today, and in the future? Share here in the comments below. Maybe you will share something that spark someone else to think newly about their own ease.
After all, that’s what we’re about… the (r)evolution of bliss.
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