I approach this subject, because we all live in pain at some time in our lives. The pain may come in moments but then leave, it may occur in revolving areas of our lives, or it could be long-lasting and seem as if there is no way around it. I approach this subject, because if we’re living in pain in any area of our lives, it may only sound like a good idea to live in bliss and even more so, it may sound completely unattainable.
Sometimes it is with great difficulty that we discuss the subject of pain in our lives.
Some of us find such difficulty with it that we don’t even broach the subject. However, leaving our wounds in life to heal on their own can wreak just as much havoc with our physical health as an unattended physical wound festering with infection.
Avoidance of our pain is not strength, but weakness. Often we make out strength to be some all-curing kind of salve that can right all wrongs, and put weakness down. Avoidance, though, is a resulting action from fear. It takes courage to confront what ills we experience with the genuine hope of releasing them, healing and returning to health.
At different times in our lives, we will live through a cycle of pain. Be careful not to be misguided by the word pain, as it is not the only emotion or mood we can experience on a day to day basis when we are in the midst of a cycle such as this one. There are always ups and downs to being an emotional being. We always have a vast array of experience at our fingertips, so a cycle of pain is not some all-encompassing horrible experience of darkness and dismay. It is possible to experience joy and ecstasy as well as anger and frustration during a cycle of pain. What makes a cycle of pain is simply that there are more moments of negative emotion than there are moments of good feelings.
Some of us may think that we have bypassed, come to the end of this era for ourselves, or maybe even, we think that we have never experienced this for ourselves, but I invite you to consider that this is imaginary thinking. I don’t say this to be contrary. We are human beings. We live in the human condition. None of us is immune. So long as we live this life, we are a part of the whole of humanity. None of us is immune to a cycle of pain.
We may numb ourselves to our pain so that it seems like we don’t hurt anymore, but numb does not equal gone. Numb is numb. And, gone is… well, not possible if we’re human and still alive. Transcendence is what we can look for.
We all express our cycles of pain differently. For some of us, our pain may last momentarily. For some of us, our pain may last for a lifetime. For many of us, we have both; and both the momentary and lifetime cycles live in us, but in different areas of our lives. How we handle pain affects the quality of our lives. And quality of life is something I believe we all have a great interest in, and the reason I’m writing about this at all.
For most of us, a cycle of pain can begin at anytime. One example… Someone, a relative, lover, work colleague, boss, stranger, child, did something, or said something that didn’t sit right with us and we began to feel “wrong” about it. Or maybe something happened that didn’t have to do with any one person, or any person at all. We tried to ignore the feeling of “wrong”-ness, or “let it go,” or avoid it entirely; but it kept nagging at us. We have replayed what was said or what was done a hundred (or for some of us, a hundred thousand) times in our head, and we just can’t seem to find the answer we’re seeking – the how or why of it neatly explained with hospital corners tucked in. Some of us don’t think, or don’t even know, we’re looking for an answer. We can think we’re just looking for what went wrong. But in some way, what we all seek is an answer. The question could be, “What went wrong?” Or it could be “Why me?” Whatever the thoughts running about in our heads, there is a desire for an answer that will make sense of the “wrong”-ness.
However, the question is most likely – at this stage of futility – unanswerable. Yes, there is such a thing as an unanswerable question. It’s not that you can’t find an answer to the question. Yes, you can, and you do. What makes the question unanswerable is that your mind continues to ask the question; long after you’ve answered it… a million times.
The mind will never be satisfied by the answers you give it. As you know, even when you answer it, it asks again. And again. And again. And again. Your mind isn’t asking the question with the intention of the question being answered. It’s asking to keep you in the cycle of pain.
How come it does this awful thing, you ask? Can this be true? How come it wants to keep me in this cycle of pain? Doesn’t it know how painful this sh#% is?
The cycle of pain is never about whatever is happening at present in your life. It is always about a wound that never healed. The wound keeps begging to be heard. It keeps begging the question so that it gets “air” time. It continues to beg for “air” time simply because it wants to be healed. This is why any and all cycles of pain continue.
Cycles of pain only continue to give you the opportunity to heal them.
Monique McIntyre
Resilience is your birthright. Resilience is well-being. Well-being is within all of us always waiting to be tapped. Wounds only scream because they are not resilience. If you have at your core resilience / well-being, then of course what will become tremendously apparent is how distinct the wound is from your core.
When will you unpack your wounds and heal them?
You will need assistance. Seek what you need. And get it.
Heal what is wounded within you. You are worthy of it.
You are divine. You are on an adventure. Adventures require health. Health / well-being is your birthright.
Just ask, and a way will be made, if you so desire. It is your free will. Always.
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