We talk about *unconditional love/loving* a lot. However, do we know of what we’re speaking? Or do we throw around this term unconsciously? Do we really explore what unconditional love means, or do we just think we know from what we’ve observed in others?
What is Love…
Unconditional love is loving someone, something, or some situation or circumstance in life without condition. You’re probably thinking, ‘Yes, I know.’ Yes, but… Do we really?
Unconditional love is not present when you love them…
…as long as they agree with what you say and do. That’s a condition.
…as long as they laugh when you joke, or smile back at you when you smile. Those are conditions.
…as long as they get riled up by the same things you do. That’s conditional.
…as long as they love you back and in just the way you want them to. That is conditional.
Unconditional love is not present when you love them…
…because it’s good for you, good to you, or…
…because it makes you feel good about you.
Or even, …because you know it will all turn out in the end.
You ever noticed all the conditions we place on our love?
The following is a great definition of love…
Love — Unconditional positive regard and acceptance.
In this definition, love becomes more than affection, more than chemistry, more than really good feelings. It becomes what it truly can be – vast, expansive and utterly inclusive.
Giving unconditional love requires not needing anything from anyone. It requires being responsible at a new level for how you feel, and what you feel.
It’s not horrible to not be able, or even not be willing to love completely unconditionally — WITHOUT any condition whatsoever. It can be the tallest of orders. And we are all human. It’s okay.
It’s not about some idea of you, or what you could do (or who you could be) if you tried harder. It can be simply about who you are right now. In this moment. Right here.
And when you can truly love that idea – the idea of loving yourself no matter how you love another, or even, life itself… well, isn’t that one step closer to loving someone unconditionally?
(Thank you to Iyanla Vanzant for her definition of love.)
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